Yesterday was Nathaniel's second to last swimming lesson for the session. Although they started while I was gone in South Africa, I've quite enjoyed going to the last two or three of them. He likes the water for the most part, although he gets cold after only about 15-20 minutes in the water, so the 25 minute length is about right. His favorite is jumping into the water from the sides, although he also enjoys playing with a ball sometimes as well. He's not too interested in the actual swimming aspects as yet--stretching his arms, kicking his legs, etc.--but he does splash sometimes when asked, and although not intentionally to try to transport himself he does kick a fair amount at times. I think the main goal of the exercise at this point is to acclimate him to the water itself, so that he's not afraid of it down the line. The major goal of that is getting his head under water. We try that two or three times per week, and of course he gets all shocked every time it happens. The instructors say that it's usually worse for mom and dad than for the kids, so we have to keep a happy face whenever we do it. By last night he was definitely reacting better than when I first got there. The first time, he decided he no longer trusted mommy and had to have daddy for a little while. Now, he recovers fairly quickly and is ready to start playing again. Progress.

So it's been a long time since I've updated this blog, and I'd like to say it's because I've been busy, and I have had my share of things going on, but there's really no other reason than laziness for the lack of updates. I am going to try to be better about updating what's going on.

Back Home

I got home late morning on Monday. I've been trying to get back into the swing of things back home since then, but it's been a bit of a struggle. Part of it is the number of things going on, part is the jet lag (33 hours with two hours of sleep and a seven hour time difference) but I think a part of it is simply having been gone for so long. Nearly four weeks of being away really upset my rhythm, making me feel like I don't know what I'm doing at home.

As for the results, I had a blast during all four games, but despite being able to really look on the bright side of losing in the round of 16, this morning I'm really feeling the disappointment of it. It's four more years until the next world cup, and it's a bit depressing to think that it will be so long before the next really meaningful game. Qualification is two years away, but the hex is even farther. There's a friendly against Brazil in August, I think, so hopefully there will be an air of optimism after the decent World Cup performance. Maybe we can find some forwards. It would be cool if Charlie Davies were able to play in that friendly and showed himself as back to his best.

Greetings from Cape Town

The internet availability in this country is shocking, considering how built up and rich the country is the fact that there is little to no internet availability in most places is totally incredible to me. I feel very cut off, but at least I've got email on my blackberry to keep me connected a bit.

I've been journaling on paper and perhaps I will transcribe or scan the pages when I get back.

All change

It's funny how things change with a kid. I don't mean the obvious stuff, the stuff you expect to change--free time, eating, sleeping, cleaning etc. I mean things that I didn't really expect to change. Things like books and tv and movies that I enjoy. I just finished reading a series by Timothy Zahn, the Dragonback books, which were really quite enjoyable, and I really did have a good time reading them, getting sucked in relatively quickly after re-reading the first book. But the series ended with the main character receiving a message from his dead uncle about his dead parents. For whatever reason that has set me off into a sleepless night of thinking about all kinds of things, beginning with thoughts about losing parents, and the life of a child who has lost parents at a young age (in the case of this book 3 years.) Michael Lewis told a story about having a movie ruined for him and his wife because (shortly after their child was born) a child was abducted from a public swimming pool while the father was underwater. He talked about how absurd the plot was, but that nevertheless it was just too much for the two of them. Anyways that's set me off initially, but it's spread into an overall simple depression. It's impossible to describe the feeling, or explain it, but I just have spent much of the day feeling on the verge of tears for no apparent reason; it just comes in waves and can be caused by something odd or nothing at all. Like the clips in America's Funniest Home Videos of children running from animals that really worry me -- Ostriches, kangaroos, etc. dangerous animals, animals that small children should not be able to get so close to, especially without very close supervision.

Today was always going to be tough with the long tiring weekend behind us. NAthaniel made sure to get us up early, but we were able to get him to sleep in a little bit when I took him down stairs and sat in the recliner for a while. even after he woke up, he was tired enough to just lay with me while I watched QuickPitch with half an eye and a finger on the fast forward button. He didn't take much of a nap today, but he was in a pretty good mood anyway. We took a walk in the early afternoon and then another when Stephanie got home, going to the bank to deposit our tax refund, bar stipend, birthday and graduation money. All told, it came to over $10,000. I'm still trying to decide what to do with the money that I got, but since my dad has said that he'll help me to go to South Africa, I have a feeling that a good portion of that money will be going to help me fund that trip. Lodging, food, tickets, etc. still need to be covered, even if the flight itself is not an expense I have to worry about (and thank god for that, since they're at least $2500 in the best case scenario.)

Anyways, going to try to go to bed a little early tonight since I'm so tired. Tomorrow Nathaniel will be going to his oma and opa's so that I can do some work for my dad and porbably meet with Andy to try to figure out some of the world cup stuff. Hopefully I'll be able to get a good deal done tomorrow. I want to get back to writing my other blog too, because I've really enjoyed a few books lately, and want to write down my thoughts about them.

Graduation today. It was a whirlwind, with a lot of standing around out int he sun for what felt like eternity, before an emotional entry into the auditorium. I wasn't quite ready for the entry and all the people in there--it was packed with everyone watching us enter, everyone showing the pride that I'm sure we all felt. Not only that, but my transition lenses were dark, making it a little bit trickier to negotiate the ramp as well.
After the ceremony, we went to the Glockenspiel with my parents, grandparents and Stephanie's parents and grandparents. The last time that group was together there was when Stephanie and I got engaged. It was good, and I had Schnitzel, but we ended up having to run home because Nathaniel had a huge explosion in his diaper. We cleaned him up as best as we could and drove him home in just a diaper, got him in the tub and cleaned up before the others came over.
After they left, it was a big let down for me; not because they left, but just because I'd been going on inertia for the whole day and then the itinerary was over. We were all tired, but I felt a deeper melancholy because of the ceremony, and the end of law school.
I never really have had a lot of friends, but in law school everyone was drawn together with the intenisty of the experience and the common experiences that I could talk with most of the people in my class if I happened upon them at school for a good while comfortably. There were some who I'd speak to at length, but who I wouldn't necessarily seek out outside of school, and it is sad to me that I no longer have the chance to just go and have that social aspect of showing up at school, walking around the subplaza and finding someone to talk with for a few minutes. And beyond that, Calder and Ivy are now leaving for Vegas. As I said, I haven't ever had too many friends; I usually have just one very good friend at a time, with whom I spent most of my time. Brent, Ben, Dan, and of course my girlfriends and now my wife. But it is difficult when that person drifts away, leaves town, or whatever. I know that we'll still talk and hopefully we will actually do a lot of consulting with each other both on legal matters and on our possible venture. But I never have been good about calling people on the phone, and I always feel much more comfortable talking to someone in person. This has me leaning towards getting a PS3 (rather than an XBOX) in order to perhaps have some online gaming that we could do together. But more research is needed.